When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

At first of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final 12 months in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. At this time we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we will do if we’re desirous about a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private determination, however for those who’re any sort of a daily drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. Should you’re not consuming in the course of the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for at the least 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely will not be potential whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any thought how shitty you actually really feel once you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It often takes just a few weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually depends upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see for those who might make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or had been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you already know you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is absolutely what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. Should you spend a whole lot of time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which results in a whole lot of “guidelines” round your consuming, you may wish to take a step again.

You won’t even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply develop into a part of your interior chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No onerous alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and many others.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The tip days of my consuming had been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been consistently shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You may simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I don’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions ought to be explored when desirous about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and reasonable, mannequin to make use of in the case of speaking about alcohol is the concept of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t must hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you possibly can discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

Should you’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I might recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested in your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our mates have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you could have solutions/suggestions for methods to make this a part of my way of life with my consuming mates? 

Krysty: You may want to search out new mates – haha. However, critically, if your mates actually respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently attempting to push you to start out consuming once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, you then may must rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s essential to work out for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve got, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then may want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to interchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most fundamental sober individual round – and I’m pleased with consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing somewhat extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. Should you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this 12 months and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam